How to say No without feeling guilty

It is hard for women to say No, but it is even harder for Highly Sensitive People because we do not like letting others down. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a helpful person, However saying ‘Yes’ when your intuition is yelling 'Hell No!’ comes at a cost. The cost is overstimulation, overwhelm or even resentment. These feelings create martyrdom, which is not fun for anyone.

If you want to learn how to say No, confidently without feeling guilty, you have come to the right place.

What feels lighter in you body

When someone asks you for help, you do not have to answer that second. Take a minute to check in with your body. What feels lighter? Saying “Yes” or saying “No”? Whichever option feels lighter is your truth. Your body has wisdom that the mind cannot comprehend. It does not lie. The most loving answer does not feel heavy.

Keep your body language positive

Before you say “No” make sure your body language is positive. Make a conscious effort to relax your shoulders, forehead, and jaw, smile and make eye contact with the other person. You can state your truth and still come from love.

Do not apologize or make excuses

You do not need to apologize for saying “No.” Apologies are for when you have done something wrong. Saying “No”, does not mean you have done something wrong. Sometimes making up an excuse is easier than telling the truth. Excuses are really just lies, and I bet you do not want to be known as an dishonest person. Feel the uncomfortable emotions and do the most loving thing,

HSPs become overwhelmed when we have long To-Do lists. Our nervous systems require more downtime than the average person. Yet, because we are natural born people pleasers, we tend to say “Yes” too often especially if we are known as the helper.

You may find pleasure in helping others and that is wonderful. However, if saying “Yes” means you are putting your own needs on the backburner, saying “No” is the only possible option.